Reminiscing..
So alert to all…I’ve been sick with strep since like Saturday. Didn’t go to the doctor until Tuesday. Antibiotics are in my system and starting to kick ass (hopefully). Anywho, just wanted to give the reason as to why I’ve been out of work and kinda lazy lately.
1) So, with being sick I’ve lost like 2 pant sizes. yeah. Down to a size 5. Pretty awesome. Not complaining about the excruciating pain in my throat anymore. ha.
2) I’ve been listening to lots of music and fooling on stumbleupon while doing laundry and “trying” to be productive. While I’ve been doing this..and reading quotes of love and relationships..I’ve noticed…
I am NO WHERE CLOSE to the girl I used to be.
It’s almost a tragedy, really. I used to be a hopeless romantic. I would daydream what it would feel like to feel someone’s arms wrapped around me, to be kissed on the forehead, to be loved and treated as if I was the only thing that mattered in the world. A sucker for poetry and love songs…ya you know, that kind of hopeless..
And reality hit.
Being treated like shit, beat over and over again, kinda like how slaves were treated many moons ago, tends to eat away any positive, optimistic outlook you have on life, let alone love. I quickly became a very bitter, cynical, sarcastic little bitch. Not gonna lie, it was kind of fun to push all the dumb boys away. I’m sure a few of them probably didn’t deserve it, even tho in the end they still probably did haha. Either way, I wasn’t taking anyone’s bullshit.
That’s the good thing to all of this. Dating the shitheads really does teach you how to act, what to prepare for, what to stay away from, and what to KNOW you deserve.
Which leads me to my final conclusion…
Yes. After like 10 months of no commitments…(with the exception of a couple distractions aka boys) I have had the time and space to recover. To heal. To move on. To get over the “I hate all boys” faze and get ready for the next big thing… :)
He’s here….he’s FINALLY here…
…to be continued.
because sometimes it’s just too difficult to accept, so we try to forget. Remove that chapter in our life and when we sit and think about our past…we realize that gap we tried to forget…and we break down. Because there is that gap.
So in order to not let the memories destroy us, me and you. Remember everything, cry it all out, laugh it all out, talk about it all out, because it was a part of us, and it can tear us apart right now, but that tear can be mended.
And to be honest, it’s better to be torn apart now, than to break down later on when life is going well.
(Source: leilockheart)
